Testing friendship.

July 12, 2010 at 1:04 am (My Story.)

The process of accepting and embracing MRKH has been a difficult road, beginning with reaching out to others who have felt as I have. It has taken me years of pain to come to this place but now that I am here I feel much better about my diagnosis. Recently, I decided that the next step was to share my experience with a very good friend of mine. I felt that it was time to acknowledge MRKH as part of my life and therefore a part of me. It was a decision that I did not take lightly but as this friend has been part of my life (I am sure that she does not know how much of an impact her friendship has had on my life over the years) for over a decade, this was something I have wanted to do for a while.

Sharing MRKH with someone who has not experienced it themselves, was very difficult. It was a painful for me to share but cathartic at the same time. It was almost like putting all the cards out on the table – being vulnerable – all over again. Sort of like saying: “Hello meet the real me.” Not that I held onto this because I wanted to hurt anyone but I mean, what do you do with all of this information? As I have said before, I was clueless for years and years. So, it got buried somewhere deep down until I was ready to face it. Head on. It was funny how when I told her I almost felt like I was confessing to something. At the same time that I felt fearful, I felt liberated. She was great about it, supportive and curious. I do not think that I explained it in the best way possible but how do you say that after all of these years, I have kept something like this from you? She was stunned that I kept it from her for all of these years – I hope she understands why now. I was fearful that it would change our friendship or how she saw me. But some friends – the right ones – are like family. No matter what, she will always be the sister that I never had.

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