Baby Blues, times two.

August 3, 2010 at 7:34 pm (My Story.)

This past weekend I attended my friend’s stag and doe. Lots of people were there and the conversations all were steered towards marriage and babies. Having been with my partner for almost four and a half years, naturally lots of people were wondering when we are to get hitched and start reproducing. It is so funny to see their faces drop when you say well maybe we are not planning on having children and maybe we are not prepared financially and otherwise to get married. The response is so predictable – it is always the same: “Oh…I see. Well, good for you.” Anyways, my friend was beaming as family and friends gathered around her to congratulate her. She had been holding her three month old cousin when she suddenly passed him onto me to go attend to some kitchen crisis. Suddenly, I found myself holding this baby and bouncing him around on my hip as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He cooed away quite happily, looking around him as if fascinated by the all the frantic comings and goings. Holding him gave me that elated feeling but at the same time, the pit of my stomach lurched with sadness as I wondered: “Will this ever be me?” It was only for a fleeting moment but still the thought was there…

4 Comments

  1. Miss-Smiley said,

    Aww I feel a bit teary reading that. Your emotions echo mine! I love being an aunty and it helps me cope but often when I hold them, do their nappies, play with them and so on I also at times can feel saddened at the thought I can never have my own. I know we can still be mums but it seems like we have to work so much harder for it and it is harder for us to achieve that!

    One my sisters friend after years of marriage is finally pregnant, now usually I would be oevr the moon but this girl has been so mean to me in the past that I felt like why did she have to get pregnant? It’s not fair!

    Hope you and me can be mothers one day! Love you xox

    • MRKHCanada said,

      I hope so too! I think our experiences will make us great mothers one day! Love you too!

  2. Sharelle WOrmald said,

    Hi,
    Love your blog. I was diagnosed at 18 and had my life turned up side down as a mother is all i had wanted to be. I have been married to my handsome for ten years and with a little Fun/work at the beginning,we have a awesome sex life. Handsome was great about the whole thing and everything it would mean for us. We did gestational surrogacy and are the proud parents of nearly four year old triplets(2boys & 1 girl).
    My children know there story and understand mummy’s tummy is broken. I still wish to carry my own child in my body and i think that’s a natural feeling. I hope in years to come that will be possible for girls with MRKH. Your B sounds a lot like my handsome and i know you”ll find away together to have the life you have dreamed for yourself.
    When we had our babies i met a Dr Sakalar(not sure of the spelling) who lectures on our syndrome to other Dr’s and shared my story and took some photos with him and our bubs. I offered to talk to the Dr’s about my experience. I hope one day i will get to, in the mean time i’m glad to know their is some one out there that cares about girls with MRKH and is trying to make a difference.
    Keep up the blog,
    Sharelle

    • MRKHCanada said,

      Hi Sharelle! It is always so inspiring to hear success stories! I have always wondered what I would say to my kids in the future, so I thought your approach was really smart! I think you are really brave to be able to share your experience with MRKH. I hope one day to do this too…I know it won’t be easy but I hope that one day I will have the strength to share those experiences to!!!

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