From the Beginning…

February 15, 2010 at 5:22 pm (My Story.)

I can remember feeling really excited about puberty. I know some people were reluctant to go bra shopping and were embarressed at the idea of buying their first box of tampons, but I saw it as a point of pride. To feel as though I was really becoming a woman. I was in fourth grade when I first noticed that I was growing hair in places I hadnt before and developing breasts. I only remember one incident which made me ashamed of these changes and it took place in the playground. I was on the monkey bars wearing a t-shirt and one of my classmates rudely commented on the hair that was portruding from my armpits. I remember feeling immediately embarressed because I was different. This feeling persisted for a long time after years of swimming lessons and being surrounded by girls who were still without these changes…

A few years later,  while attending ballet classes, I can remember girls younger than me wearing those training bras and wishing my Mum would let me wear them too. At least I had something to put in them! But I think my parents had a hard time accepting that I was growing so fast. Maybe they were worried about me growing up “too fast” and maybe they were worried about the consequences of these changes. Well anyways, I got my first bra at 11 and I remember feeling so proud. I was wearing a bra and somehow that made me feel as though I was just that much closer to becoming a grown-up woman. A real proud moment for me…

When I reached age 12 and 13 though everything changed. The other girls were catching up. The washroom was full of talk of boys and periods and so on. I suddenly felt isolated. My two best friends at that time were both the only other two girls who hadnt had their period yet. The only difference between them and me was that I was pretty much fully developed while they were still in the bodies of young girls. I had a sense even then that something was amiss. Maybe I just didnt want to acknowledge it. From that time on, everytime I went to the bathroom, I would hope and pray that when I looked down that there would be blood  there. Maybe thats hard for other people to understand, I mean, how many women do you hear of who wish for their period? But its taken for granted. These are the women who hold the power of reproduction! Without this, I felt incredibly inadequate and confused. But I was still hopeful until the age of 14-15.

My best friend and I were talking one day in the washroom of our highschool and all of a sudden she casually slipped in that she had gotten her period the day before. I was devastated. Was I the only one? Would I ever get it? I remember having some kind of reaction…feighing happiness for her but deep down feeling really strange, like I had to face facts. How was this possible? I was normal in every other way and had been developing since age 9. What could possibly have gone wrong?

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A New World.

December 30, 2009 at 3:11 pm (My Story.)

My Goals

Ive never written anything like this before nor have I ever been so open about my life as this. I guess I should start out by saying that my purpose in blogging is to increase awareness about MRKH in Canada and mainly, to reach out to those affected by this condition. My own experience with MRKH has motivated me to try and seek out others who share in my own experience and who wish to hear of another’s experiences. Doctors diagnose us but that is just about as far as it goes. There is little, if any, emotional or psychological support to accompany such a hefty label, therefore, I think we must create our own support.  Since this condition only affects 1 in 5000,  I have been advised that blogging may be the easiest and best way to reach those who may be interested in starting peer support not only in the Ottawa area but also on a national level. Since I want to make this as interactive as possible, I would like to welcome those of you who are personally affected by MRKH or who have been touched by someone with this condition to share your thoughts.

A word on the organization of my blog. Ive organized this site so that I can add my personal anecdotes while also providing you with the facts that I have found regarding MRKH. My main interest is the psychological implications of this condition on the newly diagnosed individual so the articles I post will be most relevant to that. If there is enough of interest, I can also provide medical research.

About my personal experience.

It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my fate, if you will. I was diagnosed with MRKH at 15, an age where everything is confusing as it is. Add to that a label which means you will always be different and my world was turned on its head. My experience began with my GP who was very cold to say the least. She didnt really understand what the problem was with being 15, fully developed but without any signs of a period. I was already beginning to feel like a freak sitting in that office. I guess the best thing she ever did for me was to refer me to my current gynaecologist. This is when everything changed…

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